Autism and Everyday Life
"Always Unique Totally Intelligent Sometimes Mysterious"
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With the Help of a Furry Friend
Years ago I bought my son a kitten. And what seemed like nothing more then a fluffy barn cat turned into a muse for J. He started talking and interacting with the cat who in turn greatly enjoyed the generous amount of affection he received from my son. The cat, who became know as Garfield, slept on J’s bed and became a real friend to him when IBI therapy got a bit tough.Garfield made many visits during the therapy to help him stay on task and stay calm. I have heard similar stories from parents of how a family pet calmed and soothed an autistic child.
Studies have found that pets can have a very positive affect on our health and well being. Many seniors homes receive visits from four legged friends because of their calming affects on the residents. It was found that pets reduced stress, lowered high blood pressure and helped to keep it under control.
Specially trained dogs for Autistic children, also known as Autism Dogs, help calm children through difficult social situations. The dogs are trained to stay calm at all times giving the child a center, a place to be when things get tough. While there have been many studies into why pets have such a calming affect on people no one has come up with a definitive answer as to what causes the affect. All researchers know is that it works. Here is a snippet from an article written by By Scott O. Lilienfeld and Hal Arkowitz for the Scientific American.
Studies by psychologists Karen Allen of the University at Buffalo and James Blascovich of the University of California, Santa Barbara, and their colleagues demonstrate that the presence of a favourite pet during a stressful task—such as performing difficult mental arithmetic—largely prevents spikes in participants’ blood pressure. In contrast, the presence of a friend does not. In addition, Allen’s work shows that stressed-out, hypertensive stockbrokers who were randomly assigned to adopt either a pet dog or cat ended up with lower blood pressure than those who were not. These studies suggest that the presence of pets may lower our blood pressure and stress levels, although they do not tell us the reasons for this effect.
So what is it that gives our pets the power to heal and improve help? Personally I like the explanation given by British novelist George Eliot who wrote, “Animals are such agreeable friends. They ask no questions and they pass no criticism.” And maybe that’s all it is. Pets give us unconditional love and never remind us of our short comings. They just want little more then to be at our side and the occasional scratch between the ears.
To learn more about the affects of Autism dogs and Animal assisted therapy consider the following articles.
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=is-animal-assisted-therapy
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animal-assisted_therapy
http://www.autismsupportdogs.org/
Sensory Room Products
Ever thought of creating a sensory room? I have given it some thought myself lately. So I did a little searching for products that would furnish a sensory room. One thing is for and that is the possibilities are endless. You can buy just a few small items right up to entire kits that require assembly on arrival. Listed below are a few websites I found that specialize in sensory products.
http://www.thesensorycompany.co.uk/
http://www.spacekraft.co.uk/shops/sk/Default.aspx
http://www.specialneedstoys.com/can/multi-sensory-environments.php
http://www.experia-usa.com/c-128-sensory-equipment-bundles.aspx
http://www.experia-canada.com/p-427-superactive-sensory-room.aspx
How to get through public outbursts
So I am in the bank and Jonathan decides to a have melt down. Desperate to get free of my hand he drops his weight to the floor and begins to twist and flop, howling like a wounded animal. It’s almost impossible to pick him up because every time I try he lets his whole body go limp. I know that if I let go of his hand he’ll run. I would come back to the bank another day but my car payment is over due, I’ve got to pay it. I try again to lift him from the floor, I whisper to him sternly but he isn’t listening nor does he care. And while I have not looked up to see, I can feel it…everyone is staring at this fantastic display.
Jonathan keeps twisting around, hurting my hand at this point but I know I can’t let go. He’ll run out into the street and get hurt…and that’s when I hear it…”Would you look at that, she’s going to twist his arm right off.” I whip my head around to see this stuffy women baring an expression I have see a million times before. You would think that trying to drag a twisting, kicking, screaming child up to the bank teller would afford some sympathy but it rarely ever does. I’m young and I look young, a trait that doesn’t go well with situations like these.
This women thinks what most think, that I have not done my job as a parent in some way and this ridicules display is a result of my poor parenting skills. Exhausted and frustrated I snap at her, “He’s Autistic, he’s upset, can’t you see that?” If the whole bank wasn’t staring me before, they certainly are now. However, I don’t feel embarrassed this time, I feel liberated. There were so many times when I would have loved to have said that before but I could never muster the courage.
Whether that women understood or not I’ll never know. Anyone who has read my blog before would soon realize this didn’t happen yesterday, it happened ten years ago and people where far less aware of Autism then they are now. Then it was 1 in every 7,000 or so with Autism, now it’s 1 in every 150. The numbers have changed but the scene is still the same for many parents, only the location changes. Jonathan is 15 now and we don’t have public displays like the one in the bank anymore, (thank god but because considering his size now he would certainly win the argument) but I still remember the feeling of having everyone stare at me and assume that I did something wrong as a parent.
At one point Jonathan developed a problem with trying to steal things when we went shopping. I always caught him before we left the store but that didn’t save me from a few stern remarks from store employees. So I introduced Jonathan to a police man at my aunt’s church and had him tell Jonathan that if he kept stealing he would take him to jail. He played the part well for Jonathan (we had this planned) he spoke in a stern voice telling Jonathan he would get nothing but bread and water in jail and no recess ever again.
When ever Jonathan tried to grab something in the store I would remind him that the police man could be watching. One day Jonathan grabbed a truck of the shelf. At that very moment (like some act of god) some one set off the store alarm and it made Jonathan jump. Seeing an opportunity I said, “Quick, put it back before the police man comes!” With the alarm going off he really believed it and never tried to take anything from a store again.
Don’t be afraid to get out there
It can be hard to ignore harsh comments and insensitivity from others. Children with Autism look the same as any other child and people often assume the worst. It took a while but I finally stopped apologizing to everyone and stopped hiding in my house like a hermit. I decided that it was pointless to hide and in truth it wasn’t helping Jonathan either. Jonathan was not going to get used to public situations if we didn’t get out there. Sticking to a routine seemed to make Jonathan worse because as soon as something changed his world would fall apart.
Have a plan
Bring along things that you know your child likes. I would keep things handy that I knew had a calming effect on Jonathan, such as his action figures or a cereal bar. At moments when he looked like he could pitch a fit, I would whip out the favorite toy and his focus would be diverted, even if for a minute or two.
Remember that you are a good parent
No matter how prepared I was there was always times when Jonathan left me feeling pretty embarrassed. Try to remember that you don’t need the approval of perfect strangers. You know why you are a good parent, there is no reason for you to have to explain yourself or your child every time you go food shopping.
Change your routine
While almost forcing Jonathan to get used to the outside world was not easy and at times down right nerve racking it eventfully worked. It didn’t happen over night, it took time but now Jonathan goes everywhere with me. I found the less routine I made his life the easier it was for him to adapt to new and unexpected situations. Transitions got smoother and Jonathan got calmer. I think it’s been two years now since Jonathan has had any trouble while we are out. Last week we enjoyed the Zoo and plan to go on many more trips through out the year.
Scentsy Sells ‘Piece by Piece’ Decorative Warmer For Autism
Scentsy, Inc. and the Scentsy Family Foundation, a charitable initiative of the rapidly growing home fragrance company selling a unique warmer to help raise fund s for Autism. The charitable Causes warmer is called “Piece by Piece” and will be available for purchase until August 31. All net proceeds from the warmer sale will benefit Autism Speaks. Each warmer is priced at $35 USD. To learn more you can visit www.scentsy.com
Raising a child with autism
This morning I came across this really great article in the Winnipeg Free Press about Montreal writer Joel Yanofsky regarding his experiences and thoughts on raising a child with Autism.
Raising a child with autism: parents become the expert, some remarks unhelpful
By: Anne-Marie Tobin, The Canadian Press
TORONTO – Montreal writer Joel Yanofsky admits that his journey towards accepting his son’s diagnosis of autism wasn’t easy. He says he “moped a bit, or more than a bit.” And he knew that if he was going to get any therapy to deal with it or make sense of it, it would have to come through writing.
His memoir describes the “real roller-coaster ride” his family has been on since finding out that Jonah, now 12, has high-functioning autism.
“It doesn’t help that autism is such a mysterious disorder,” he said in an interview. “They call it a spectrum because every kid is different. Every situation is different.”
Yanofsky didn’t set out to write a book that would educate others about autism spectrum disorder, or ASD. But “Bad Animals: A Father’s Accidental Education in Autism” (Viking Canada) does contain some pointers about insensitive remarks — inadvertent and otherwise — that really don’t help as a family negotiates its way through the educational system and the various dynamics of the playground and society at large.
“Parents become the experts, whether we like it or not. We don’t want to be, but we become the experts and what’s irritating about it is … other people who are supposed experts pretend they know when they don’t really.”
For instance, he doesn’t put much stock in a movement that tries to blame vaccines as a major cause of autism, and hearing about it isn’t helpful to him as a parent.
“First of all, it wasn’t really our experience as far as I can remember,” he said. And even if it were, “What am I going to do about it now? What am I going to do — go back and take the vaccine back?”
Autism spectrum disorder affects the way the brain functions, resulting in difficulties with communication and social interaction, as well as unusual patterns of behaviour, activities and interests, says Autism Society Canada. The exact cause remains unknown, but genetic factors likely play a role, experts say.
People don’t mean to be insensitive, Yanofsky said, but sometimes it happens. His wife Cynthia pushed to include some advice for family and friends in the book, including the fact that it’s not helpful to hear someone say, after diagnosis: “I knew there was something wrong with him.”
After the disorder was first described by doctors in the early 1940s, parental behaviour was sometimes blamed for their child having autism. Yanofsky said mothers, in particular, were accused of being cold or “refrigerator” moms, but that notion now has mostly disappeared.
“You don’t get blamed in the same way anymore as parents. But … everybody has some idea and theory on what you should do. And you can only do what you can do,” he said.
It’s not helpful for casual observers to weigh in with their “expertise” because the parent has already done the research, he indicated.
“There’s all kinds of things floating around … We had one person say to Cynthia, ‘We can test his urine.’ She was always asking for his urine, this woman, which is a little inappropriate, I think.”
Keri Bowers of Thousand Oaks, Calif., recalls that her son Taylor, now 22, was in a diaper until he was five, but wasn’t diagnosed with autism until age six. She was a single mom for a time and had to take him to the ladies’ room to change him.
Bowers said she had to develop a thick skin, because she got stares and heard comments by people who didn’t know the situation but wondered why he wasn’t potty-trained or going to the boys’ bathroom.
“I heard little whispers and little snickers, and it was because they just simply didn’t understand.”
Bowers, a filmmaker, will be among the guest speakers at an Autism Today conference being held Thursday through Saturday in Vancouver.
When Taylor would throw a huge temper tantrum in a store, she would just block everybody else out, stay calm, focus on Taylor and keep her place in line at the checkout counter. She had little cards to hand out that said her son has autism and that he needed her immediate attention. The cards explained where to get more information about the disorder.
Once, in a coffee shop when Taylor was about to turn 13, he reached in front of a man, who launched into a tirade, berating Bowers and saying that she needed to teach her son some manners.
When Taylor was going into first grade, Bowers said the teacher called her in before she had even met her son, and said she’d had a heart attack two years earlier — and ever since receiving Taylor’s file she was having nightmares about him coming into her class.
The teacher put Taylor’s desk in the corner facing the wall and not in the triangle with the other kids, making Bowers so angry that “I wanted to go murder this teacher.”
Someone intervened on her behalf, and a learning process began in which the teacher began to see Taylor’s potential, and not see him as a threat. Eventually, the teacher became a mentor to his future teachers at the school, Bowers said.
Karen Simmons, a resident of Sherwood Park, Alta., and CEO of Autism Today, has six children ranging from almost 17 to 26, including 21-year-old son Jonathon who has autism.
She said it can be tough to arm yourself against unwelcome remarks.
“It’s difficult, you feel like just wearing a badge that says, ‘Excuse me, my kid has autism, what’s your problem?’” she said, laughing.
“You feel like having that, but I mean you don’t want to always just throw the label around either and you have to teach them how to defend themselves against people that are going to attack them and be mean to them.”
She finds it’s best to teach children and teens with autism to have high self-esteem, be self-reliant and walk away from situations rather than to get into a conflict.
An estimated one in 110 births are children with autism, she noted.
Her advice to people who will be encountering these kids: “Try to get to know them and try to understand them and try to see the strengths and the gifts that they have — bring those out and not be too quick to judge. Never be too quick to judge.”
Wretches & Jabberers
Tracy Thresher and Larry Bissonnette, two men with autism, set out on a global quest to raise awareness about autism and attitudes regarding disability. As children they lived in social isolation and where excluded from normal schooling. When they learned to communicate by typing their lives changed forever. In an effort to raise awareness for others like themselves they take their message on the road. The title of the movie Wretches & Jabberers came from a conversation at a sidewalk cafe. Wretches are those with limited speech – and Jabberers are those who can speak freely.
Tell Your Story
Do you have a story about how Autism has touched your life? Is it inspiring? Would it bring hope and happiness to others? Do you think your story would help others? If you have a special story about autism that you would like to share I would like to hear from you. I would like to post your stories of inspiration for others to read.
Some of the things you can include in your story:
- How did you feel when you found out your child/grandchild etc. had Autism
- How did your family and friends react to the diagnoses
- What are your concerns for the future
- How has autism changed your life for the better
You can send your story of autism to marianna21@hotmail.com.
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